so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
