White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize