I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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