Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
