Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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