I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
