I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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