you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
