I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
