We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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