careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish you could order shots online.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
