Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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