butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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