just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
