pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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