I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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