He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
