I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
