are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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