Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
