Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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