try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
