One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
