Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
