Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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