i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
