What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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