I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
