did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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