I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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