Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
