My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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