Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
