the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
