Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
