I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
