i'm signing you up for texting rehab
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
