omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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