when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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