I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
