Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
