is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
