This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what day is it and did you see me today?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
