On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
