He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
