So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
