I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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