Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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