have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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