dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
