The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
