did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My dick has a subreddit
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
