this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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