You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
