cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
this hospital has no fireball
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
