summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
