Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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