Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
