Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
