you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
