The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
