I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
