She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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