guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
