billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
