im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
